Check out this awesome bruise on my leg!

In other news, I am PESO'D out. My friends and I partied at Pesos three nights in a row this week and I'm fucking exhausted. I'm glad it's a long weekend, because I need a long ass nap.

In other news, I'm doing absolutely nothing cool this weekend. Lame. But then again, I'm too tired to do anything anyway.

I am destined for unhappiness

It is almost as if I choose to be unhappy. Don't get me wrong, my life rocks in ways that don't exist in most cultures, but I always feel like I'm 75% happy and I'll never reach full capacity. I pick everything apart. I am always zero-ing in on the negative aspects of things and despite this flaw, I take chances in hopes of breaking out of this shell and "selling out" to certain people, ideas or situations. I used to think I was a product of my environment, but even with a new environment I see myself trending along as usual.

Why can't I be happy?

25 Things You Never Wanted to Know About Me

1. I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with asparagus

2. I keep a rosary in my purse, but I never go to church and seldom pray

3. I could watch tv, all day, everyday

4. I have a small problem with drunk dialing

5. I wear stilettos every day - no matter what

6. As a child, I was afraid of the dryer

7. One of the best nights of my life occurred at a fraternity house in Kentucky in 1999

8. I love going to the dentist

9. I'm constantly looking at people's teeth...

10. I was once diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and instructed by my doctor not to make any decisions at all for three weeks

11. I can't stand bitchy pregnant women who think they have a pass go and collect $200 card

12. I like spying on people via myspace

13. When I was little, I didn't have an imaginary friend...I had an imaginary ballet school

14. I keep everything BUT floss in my purse. And I just ate an apple. And I really need some floss. Damn it.

15. What ever happened to Claudia?

17. I love bawlz

18. If I had lots and lots of cashola, I'd donate at least some of it to the Humane Society

19. I'm one of those annoying phone talkers. I carry two Blackberries

20. I have a slight tendency to lose phones

21. I still want to wrap both of my legs around Zach Morris' head and have him wear me like a feedbag

22. My favorite sport is pubcrawling

23. I smile at babies

24. I love America's Next Top Model but I hate the Tyra Banks show (does that make me a bad person?)

25. I'm really interesting, huh!!!?

I don't know how to say this, so I'm just going to put it out there...

Rocky was sexy.

And God love him for finding room for a smile on that impossibly voluptuous face of his. I have a theory that I could have given Rocky things that stupid blind lady couldn't ever give him. I mean, she couldn't even SEE! I'd make Rocky mixed tapes of Kenny G, Richard Marx, Amy Grant, and the sounds of the sweet breeze blowing through his crullet.

Despite his horrifying craniodiaphyseal dysplasia, Rocky had game. I mean, remember all his awesome poetry? It was so uplifting! Not once did he speak of his hideously disfiguring disease, the extremely rare autosomal recessive bone disorder that haunted the lives of any children, seniors, innocent bystanders or animals he came in contact with. No, Rocky was an optimist, damn it. And he was going to keep on, keepin on.

Stay gold, Rocky Boy.

Right now, for example, the Hatians want to come to America.

Motherfuck, I have a headache. My temples are going to explode. It was that goddamn lady on the phone from North Carolina and her goddamn southern, sweet tea, sacharrine accent. THANKS A LOT, LADY - YOU TWAT.

So I totally stayed out way too late at Pesos last night. Some weird asshole followed me in and I had to hide in the bafroom during my favorite not so new song that gets played at bars played (no clouds in mah stonnnnnezzz!). Matt started delivering shots of Patron to my hand and somehow I ended up with Sarah's steam cleaner in my back seat. lol. Steam cleaner in my back seat. That's funny.

Thank the sweet mother of christ that tomorrow is Friday. I love Friday!

I did this at Target one day. I thought all the back to school shoppers would appreciate my artwork.

This is my favorite Dolce & Gabbana shirt.

Alright I should like, go home and stuff.

Toga Recovery

To say that I'm still a little hungover would be a slight understatement. I slept in until 2pm tomorrow. The toga bash was probably the most fun I have had in a LONG time. (And I have fun on a pretty frequent basis!)

Scott, the toga king:





































Then someone yelled "Fireworks in 10 minutes, go out on the deck!"
Fireworks at Gasworks Park:


























No pictures of yours truly, but I can tell you with complete certainty that I looked AWESOME. I think Raul and I should have been voted "Best Dressed."

Good times. Next we have a pub crawl and a duck ride thingie at the end of the month, then it's Roller Disko, Limo Races and White Trash Bowling on the agenda next! What can I say, we are just a bunch of people who like to wear ridiculous outfits, get hopped up and make some bad decisions!

Travis and I are going to the Mariners game tonight. He loves the Twins, so it's going to be really fun with me cheering on Ichiro while he's sporting all his ridiculous Twins garb.

Hopefully it stays nice out. I love going to games.

Bloggy McBlog Blog

I think all the booze that I've been drinking has eliminated the portion of my brain that regulates tact.

With that being said, how come we don't have slaves anymore? You know, when you think about it, slaves got shit done. If I were on cribs, I wouldn't be all bragging about my car or my house, I'd be like "You see that!? That's my PERSON!" I mean, I'd give them dental and health benefits and all that stuff. It really wouldn't be a bad life...but government says NOOOOO slaves. Lame.

Particularly, I'd like to have a midget slave. I'd like for him to wear a sombrero full of chips and dip. Whenever I was hungry I'd be like "Yo, Pepe, get your ass over here!" Imagine how helpful that would be when you had a cocktail party!?

Speaking of parties, I've been doing a lot of that lately. I actually went to Blake Lewis' birthday party a few weeks ago and it was a good fuckin' time! Speaking of midgets, Blake is one. I could rest my drink on his head when he was standing next to me. He's a silly little bastard.

This weekend 150 of my closest friends and I are taking a yacht out and we are having a toga party onboard. I got a sassy little outfit all geared up and I'm having a big pre-party at mi casa. Hopefully I don't have to get carried off the boat this time...like I did on the Gilligan's Island theme cruise we had a few months ago. Actually, I don't mind getting carried off the boat...it was falling asleep on the dance floor under the deejay booth that I prefer not to relive.

Anyway, is it Friday yet? For fuck's sake.