How drunk would you have to be?

So I'm watching the Gym Class Heroes perform on Leno...not a huge fan, but whatever. Dude, how bad would it suck to be the guy who stands and waves the flag in the background? I mean, shit...how do you even get excited about being the "flag guy." The crazy part is how into it he is. He's clearly got to be loaded, otherwise he just sucks.

Also, I'm exhausted and I don't want to work tomorrow. I have a meeting with a reporter from the Times and then I have a date that I will inevitably cancel. It's supposed to be nice out again though (thank you jesus).

I finally got all my stuff unpacked...hoody hooooooooo!

Oh Nordstrom shoe sale...I love you so

Oh how the time changes everything and nothing

I often look back at my life upon great strides and deep troughs and wonder if it was the place in time that made me who I was, or if it was merely my reaction to it. Through our adult lives we have to make decisions, and sufferably sometimes we have to make decisions just because we know they are right even though it isn't what we truly want. And before you know it the newness fades and you get comfortable in a space that wasn't always so appealing. And you jeopardize your wants for what you think you need, or what others tell you is best for you. And then you look back and wonder where the time went and why. And you doubt yourself and you wish you could go back in time and go down a different road...but it's too late.

I suppose the fact of the matter that you have to find comfort in is that you make decisions for a reason, and whether you know if it will be right or beneficial to you, you have to commit to those decisions or you are forever in a limbo of doubt, denial or even avoidance.

I listen to the wind outside and I wonder every day whether I'm where I should be, and how I got here. And I wonder how long it will last and I find myself angry that the chapters of my life are passing so quickly and that everything has changed....yet nothing has changed. And I start to hate that my laugh doesn't sound the same anymore. But I realize, it's just the effects of time.

Then I start to value time more. Whether it's being early to an appointment, or calling when you say you will and knowing that somewhere, someone is affected by your timing.

And I wonder if I'll ever get serious, and start to care about the things I know I should care about and finally turn into someone I'd want to know. And it scares the hell out of me that, in time, those things might never happen.

Time is a real b, isn't it?